this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
