between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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