i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
