I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
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