Everything about him screamed your future.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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