I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
