You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
