once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We need a shit load of segways right now
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
