I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
