They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
