I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
