well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
