I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
