More tranny stories later!
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
