I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
