i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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