The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
