I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
