you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
