I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
