i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
