I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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