thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
