Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
