those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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