yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
