I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
