Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
