this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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