I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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