is your mom at the bar?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
