We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
