i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You can't special order awesome
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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