Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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