I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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