I have demons in me.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
