I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
even my farts smell like vagina
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
