Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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