Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
