Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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