I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
