I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We're too hungover to prance.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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