Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
