Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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