i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
