If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
