singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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