I would go down on you faster than GM stock
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I supernannyed him into submission
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
