took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's blow job season.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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