What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
