You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
