I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
