if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Houston, we have a squirter
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
