what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
