Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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